Twistday Tea: Longevity

Yes, bad news for a Twistday. Cruz Hernandez has died this week, less than two months before turning 129. She was, allegedly, the oldest person ever. This Salvadoran woman, still somewhat younger that Methuselah, is said to have been born May 3rd 1878. Since she doesn’t have a birth certificate, this would be so, of course, according to the Salvadoran government, which gave her her first ID card two years ago.

This is less than one month after the death of the oldest woman in the UK at the age of 111. The oldest registered persons, according to the International Committee on Supercentenarians (yes, I know, surprising to know it exists!), are or were between 114 and 120, with the record for a French woman, 122.

The Guinness World Records, on the other hand, holds 116 as the longest life. I could not verify this at their webpage, although I could find Bernie, the world’s Oldest Male Stripper. Anyways, the interesting thing about this case is that she hasn’t been registered in the Guinness book because, they say, she didn’t have enough time! Yes, friends, no time. So, despite being about 15 years older that the next oldest living person, she didn’t seem to have time to get this registered. This is a heavenly lesson for us all, a splendiferous piece of advice on a Tuesday, when the week seems centuries away from being over, Saturday-morning cartoons hundreds of miles away. It must be about taking things easy, then. You know, not doing today…, you get the picture. Therefore, my dear readers who have read down to this point have slim chances of living long. Sorry, your perseverance is a bad omen. You still have good chances to be old enough to follow Bernie’s footsteps to keep in good shape. However, you must not despair. Many who knew Cruz Hernandez attributed her longevity to her favourite drink of a beer with two raw eggs in it. So, if you are feeling uneasy about your potential longevity you can always try this unorthodox version of grandma’s recipe. Good luck and enjoy!